Sunday, March 14, 2010

This Day and Age Men Reacting to Decent Women

The Younger Generation of "Men"?

So I'm having a conversation with an 18 year old... uh, man? And, he keeps going away to pour himself a drink. Finally, I ask does he have a girl friend. Then I correct myself, and tell him he doesn't have a girl friend and it was ridiculous for me to even ask. He asks how I knew he didn't have a girl friend. I inform him that since he is drinking so much, it shows that his mind is wandering and is not centered on anything, therefore no girl friend. Then I tell him he needs to get a girl friend. He responds, "yeah, there's this one girl i been trying to get with."

Let me stop right there. I'm talking to this guy about his mind wandering and that he needs a girl friend and that is his response. There is a complete disconnect just in the English we were both using. Obviously, I am on the path talking about mental and psychological things and he switches to the physical. When I tried to correct him and say "no I meant you need a girl friend." He corrects me saying that's what he said.

Ah! The light goes on in my head. To this 18 year old guy he equates girl friend with tricking some girl into having gender with him.

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Is there really such a huge disconnect in our society today? I'll put aside the complete lack of understanding the English language for this article and concentrate just on the thought process. I often have conversations with my family about people around us: women wearing overly revealing clothing; women disrespecting themselves, in an effort to get a man, then don't understand why they are never in a real relationship.

Further into the conversation I stop the guy and ask him what he thought of a woman in a mini-skirt vs one that was dressed in blouse and modest skirt. When presented with the scenario, he changed into a completely different person. He said he would never go after the girl in the mini-skirt, because he would assume she was dumb and didn't care about her appearance. He went on to say that the girl that took care of her appearance would probably be smart and that is a girl he would want to date. To add insult to injury, he said the girl in the mini-skirt probably is dumb, illiterate [not well read], and wouldn't notice her surroundings. He gave the scenario that the dumb girl wouldn't ask questions like, "why are we doing this." He also said that he is surrounded by "gender " at his high school and "they are gross."

So either he was just trying to be cool with me before and thought that I wanted him to talk about having gender with girls, or he wants to just taint nice girls, and that's his idea of a relationship.

Is this what young men think about women these days? Do young women know this is how young men see them? Do young women understand that the message they are putting out is a negative one and not a positive one?

I saw a clip of a comedian once, can't remember who exactly. In the clip he was talking about the girls in the club who rubbed all up on his body with their various body parts while dancing. Then feign shock when the night is over and the guy expects them to go home with them. He said the girl said "why are you treating me like a gender . I am not a gender ." And, he said he responded, "you were acting like a gender in the club. I am sorry I mistook you for a gender ." He said she responded, "I was just dancing." And, he responded, "yes, just like a gender ."

While the comedian was just being funny, he was pointing out a real situation. Some women might try and come to the defense of such a woman, but then again these very women have never been a man who have had their private parts rubbed upon for 4 hours by the breasts, butt and hands of a gender "acting" woman. If you want to defend the women, first go to a club and ask one of these women to rub on your private areas for the evening and then come out and say how good clean and wholesome they are... Oh, does that sound silly? No no, if you're going to defend someone, you must first know what you are defending. We're not talking about a rape scenario, nor a forcing someone to do anything. We are talking about a man being treated in such a manner as above, then when the evening is over requesting the woman go to his house to do what seems apparent to all.

I have had situations like that. I'm at a club and some girl sees me from across the room. She comes up to me and assumes I want to dance with her. She then proceeds to try to grind on me. My responses has always been to push her away from me and remove myself from the dance floor. I am more than that. And, she should feel she's more than that. If I wanted to be with a gender , I'd go be with a gender . gender is legal here anyway. :)

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Spaz said...

LOL. I think Dave Chappelle did a little skit on this type of scenario. I forget what tv special it was but he was right.

Shakaama said...

Was id Dave Chappelle? I kept trying to remember the comedian. And I really think Dave Chappelle needs a spanking and his mouth washed out. [PG rated comment]

But he is right!

Spaz said...

LOL Dave is dirty but hes too funny. Um the way it went was about if you wear a police uniform it does not mean you're a cop. So the woman at the club tells him (after rubbing up on him)

"Sir! I am offended! Just because I am dressed like a whore does not mean that I am one!" lol

Shakaama said...

I cringe when I watch him. For him there is no line to cross. He just erases the line and steps all the way to the other side.

My Mom tells me stories all the times of women wearing just outrageous lack of clothes, thinking it's going to get them a nice man.

I can't win at all. Either they dress like men, or they dress like whores. What happened to being a lady or a nice young woman? *sigh* If they're not a lesbian, they come prepackaged with diseases. I just can't win.

Spaz said...

LOL Well you're in Sin City that's why. :P

But a song I always liked but I think fell on deaf ears, Lauryn Hill's Doo Wop (That Thing). The lyrics are very true and to the point.

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