Monday, April 19, 2010

My Wish for Black Relationships

Time Out

malcom xBlack people, we need to call a truce. On one side we have Black women mad. On the other side we have Black men completely leaving Black women alone. And, what's the end result? The steady decline of the Black home. Why? Because there's not gonna be a Black home. I've written about divorce rates being low in the Black community, but the marriage rate being low. I've written about welfare being low in the Black community. I've written about unemployment being low overall in the black community, yet Blacks being overly represented amongst those unemployed. The Black community is under siege and we need to stop this bickering. At the heart of this bickering is the Black relationship.

This is my wish list for Black relationships. I'm writing this just off the top of my head and from my heart. I'm going to try to understand every side of the coin... or rubix cube really, because, contrary to popular belief, we Black people are as diverse as white people.

Why are Black Women Mad?

This is one of those questions that begs the question. You see talk shows about it. You read magazines about it. You see it in movies. Best selling books have been written about it.

Black women have fed into this lie so much that they have collected the dvd's, the books, got the songs on their ipod and save the magazines on their coffee table.

It's a lie.

Black women are no more mad than I am about unicorns trampling my living carpet down. You mean it ain't true at all? Nope. It's just something to sell books, movies and tapes. [lol who listens to tapes still] It's just a marketing ploy to get you to buy their crap. There has not been a national survey that went around to Black women asking "are you an angry Black woman?" If they did, it would be ridiculous.

So come off it. You're not angry and neither are your Black girlfriends. Stop feeding into the lie. Stop buying the dvds and cds about some "Angry Black woman."

huey p newtonHow ridiculous would it be, if there were an "Angry White woman" movie? So why isn't it ridiculous that there are movies, books and tapes about Black women? If you stop supporting the lie, it will go away.

If Beyonce sings about bills and how her man is a scrub, don't go buy that CD. If some author writes how her man divorced her and she let him sit in his own poo to get back at him, don't go buy that book.

They are just perpetrating a stereotype that existed since slavery to sell their crap. We have to rise up above that kind of foolishness.

Black Women are Only Good for One Thing

This is directed at both Black men, and boys, and Black women, and girls. How dare you sit there and let some other man call a Black woman a gender, and even pay for the privilege of hearing it? Don't get me wrong. I've written that such and so is acting gender, because 10 different semen was found in her junk, that's different from a rap about "put em on the glass and shake it" cuz you a ho. Come on.

And, why would a Black woman / girl BUY a CD that the guy says B***** every other word, referring to Black women? I mean, how stupid are you? Yall bout to make me go off. And, I mean all the way Ving Rhames off.

If I had a daughter that brought home a Cd and the rapper said "B***** better have my money" or "I got 99 problems but a B**** ain't one" I would beat her so bad, she'd be cripple for life. Oh hell no. What sane woman would sit up listening to that.

And, what sane Black man would get off to hearing some other Black man calling sisters a B****. WTF! Then you got white boys hollering some mess like "them is some fine Black B****es". Seriously? WTF?

Do you date gender? Do you date prostitutes? Is the mother of your children a hooker? Then why would you perpetuate some idiot, THAT PROBABLY DIDN'T WRITE THE LYRICS TO BEGIN WITH, and I go into that in several posts on here, calling black women skeezers and gender?

Everybody in the Club Getting Tipsy

Here's a fact. Black people have never, ever manufactured drugs. They were brought in, by the white man to destroy the Black community. What is going on in your life, that you can't stand up to your problems with a sober mind?

If you got financial problems... CLUE PHONE... STUDY A F****ING BOOK ABOUT SOME MONEY. Seriously, there is nothing you cannot tackle by studying about it. And, I mean study the real scoop. There are idiots that put everything on the internet. You can read all about the inside out of it, right here on the internet.

If you got family problems,... well I say study the Holy Bible. Honestly, for all you people out there pretending God doesn't exist, who cares, the Bible has more wisdom in it, than any book on the planet. I'm not even trying to preach to you. But I call a spade a spade. I guarantee you, if you got a personal issue going on, go look up that very problem in the Bible. I guaran damn tee you, it's in there, in black and white. And, it'll have a better solution than these stupid psychology books.

Black Men Leaving Black Women

Just as I rail against the Black women for chasing Black men away with their mistreatment of Black men, ... brothers, come on. No two Black women are the same. You are an idiot if you write off Black women because you went to a sleezy club and picked up a ghettofabulous girlfriend who turned out to be, not the damsel in distress you thought she would be. REALLY? Then you get mad at all Black women. That's just retarded. Come on.

If you go to the gutter to find diamonds, it's on you when you end up with poop.

I think the survey where they asked Black men why they were writing off Black women or "why they wouldn't date nor marry Black women," was answered by Black men that knew what they were getting into, i.e. picking up Black women at clubs.

I already have written two articles about Black women not being there for Black men. So I won't go back into how terrible that is. I mean we have to stand together, Black man supporting and caring for Black women and Black women supporting and caring for Black men.

GASP! did you read that right?

Yes, I wrote the same damn thing for women as I did men. Sisters if you don't realize that white America will fire a Black man at every opportunity they get, then you have your head stuck in the ground and don't see what is plainly around you.

So while you're listening to these stupid songs about unemployed Black men, check yourself. You need to be listening to songs about how the white man fired 50% of all Black men in New York City. Oh, noone wrote a song about that one did they?

While you're listening to a stupid song calling a Black man a scrub ridding in the passenger side of a car, you need to be listening to the song about how the white man increased hiring among Black women, but at menial and low paying jobs, while white, Hispanic and Asian women were being hired into management. Oh, noone wrote a song about that one did they?

Brothers need to find a quality sister. You need to find a Black woman, with some back bone and some sense. There are a whole lot of idiots out there. But, there's a whole lot of white, yellow, brown, tan idiots too. Why would you dump Black trash, to go gender with some white trash? If anything, uplift the Black trash and be a "real man".

And, I'll just say this briefly. Since so many Black women love to call a brother out and say "he ain't a man." Let me define FOR YOU, what a REAL man is.

  • takes care of his family
  • defends his family
  • would never hit ANYONE lesser than him [male or female]
  • puts his children ahead of himself
That's a real man. Now for all of you gender out there calling Black men, not real men, check your "not real man" against my list.

It has nothing to do with him having a large penis [yes I've heard this out of a sister's mouth] If it were that crucial, buy him a penis pump and go on with your gender ways happily ever after. I'm just being real.

It has nothing to do with him buying YOU nothing. You're being a mooch. If you are grown, buy your own damn stuff. Buy your own damn food if you're hungry.

It has nothing to do with him driving a GOOD car, nor a car at all. There are plenty of Asians and white people with no damn car, and no Asian chick nor white chick would ever question their boyfriend's manhood about it. Also, 50% of all cop interaction with the public with by traffic stops. So while you're ranting about Black men not having cars and Black men being in jail, how about your kill 2 birds with one stone. Give up the car, and ride the bus in peace. I see plenty of other race couples, happy as all get out, on the bus. And, in Europe, it's pain to own a car. In New York, parking costs just as much as a mortgage on a house. [we're not even talking about car not, upkeep, registration fees] You're a gold digger if your man needs to have a car "to be a real man".

It has nothing to do with your ex-lover not spending time with you. Here's the rub. The boyfriend impregnates the girl and then only comes to see the child [study shown Black estranged fathers spend more time with their children than any other racial group, including whites]. The Black girl then claims the Black man doesn't spend time with their kids [which I just showed you is false], but in reality is mad that he is not spending time with her. Let's call a spade a spade. First why would you spread your legs when you're not married. "oh that's old fashioned." But, it saves a lot of headache don't it? "but then you'd have rampant divorce" Black couples divorce less than white couples, so obviously it's not a problem in the community.

I would like to see Black women demand marriage before they go spreading their legs.

I would like to see Black men offering marriage and being ready for it, more often.

I would like to see Black couples coming together and getting married and growing financially. Just getting married boosts both individuals financially. I am willing to bet, 40% of all "Black issues" would disappear if more Black people got married.

I would like to see more and more and more and MORE Black businesses opened. We cannot survive as a community if we don't have our own businesses. The basis of any community in this day and age is business.

  • get married
  • have plenty of children
  • open up businesses
  • pay cash for everything [including house and car]
This is what I want to see Black people do.

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Spaz said...

I would like to see this for all races. My grandpa always told me "aim for the stars not the gutter."

True I did do some stupid mistakes a couple of years ago. True I had a kid before I got married but I am happy and thankful that he is a real man.

He supports me and is willing to help me do anything I want in life. When he is sad or upset I try my best to hug him and even if I don't have the words just me being there helps him.

He takes care of me and our son, he buys us food and pays for diapers, wipes, the bills etc.

He doesn't drive a Benz, we don't have a mansion. I know of someone who has money and he is lonely and wants a wife.

Money is great to hand but it does not truly bring happiness.

See I did comment after all. :P lol.

Shakaama said...

Spaz you bring tears to my eyes.

As I was writing, I was making it for everyone, but I think Black folk need this encouragement more than others.

I don't see any Black leaders talking about this real live stuff. I see them jump on the high horse bandwagon. The Jews, to my knowledge, never took on the persecution complex. Don't get me wrong, they'll call you out if you offend them, but they did the 3 points I made at the end, family, business, children.

Spaz, I wish nothing for you, except blessings :)

Spaz said...

Lol Awwww, you're a softy. :P

I can't really recall any black people I've met through out the years that have been married for a long time except my neighbors. Oh and this other guy I went to school with. Yea most of the people I knew had multiple kids but were living by themselves.

But then again I knew some white trashy people like that too. But I understand what you're getting at. :)

Anonymous said...

Hello I'm Soncerae.....I came across your relationship blog and I wanted to know if you'd post this video on your blog and write about how it makes you feel. This video is called WHY DO MEN CHEAT! I walked the streets of Atlanta and interviewed men of all ages. Check it out :)

dcole said...

When blacks see what is real then only will day understand the superficial

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