Saturday, May 15, 2010

Etiquette: How to Treat a Lady


Let's bring back a touch of elegance and class to our country. The manners and language of a country exemplifies how well they live. One can literally take a social measuring stick and get a perfect view of how well the citizens life according how well mannered they are. The less well mannered they are, the lower their standard of living. It is quite simple to understand that the further away from being animal-like one behaves, the better standard of living one has. The reverse is equally true. The better one's manners, the higher one's standard of living will climb.

How to Treat a Lady

Very often gentlemen are disappointed by the ladies they associate or call on. After the initial attraction wears off, the gentleman is astonished to find the person is no lady at all. While popular culture tries to do away with this notion of ladies, it clings to the notion of gentlemen. One cannot have a gentleman without a lady. Trust me when I say, we do not want to live in a world where there are no longer any gentlemen. While we may exist without ladies, gentlemen are a must, unless we cease to claim calling ourselves human any more.

About the disappointment gentlemen feel, when they discover the person they are with is no lady at all. If one were to treat all females as ladies, those who are not ladies would excuse themselves immediately. The pressure a gentleman brings upon a lady, that is not one, is too much to bear. A female that is not lady-like cannot tolerate being treated in such a manner.
Therefore, treating all females as ladies has a built-in defense mechanism.

So let us go over how a gentleman should treat a lady.

  1. he should always address her proper title: Miss, Mrs, ma'am
  2. he should hold her in deference:

    • hold doors open for her
    • give her the right of way when walking
    • rise when she approaches to sit down
    • present a chair for her to sit down
    • push her chair in when she is seated
    • allow her to speak and join in on conversations, even if the topic is not of her expertise, a fresh viewpoint is always amusing
    • do not assume familiarity with her person[body], even if you have known her for some time

  3. for elderly ladies, he should try to assist her in any way he can, to make sure she is comfortable at all times
  4. he should never ever mistake her for a man
That last point is very serious and it means something far deeper than the words. Too often young gentlemen forget that females are not men. They forget, and treat them like men. With another male, a gentleman can be very blunt, harsh, or even cruel. Treating a lady in such a way would be the height of uncouth behavior. One does not do that.

A gentleman should have far stronger mettle to withstand anything a lady can do or say. One should never tolerate infidelity, but harsh words of a lady should be like mosquito bites to a gentleman. However, a gentleman should never retaliate at harsh words, even from another gentleman. He should always maintain a calm composure and evaluate if he should excuse himself or not. Should he determine that the person is in fact not a lady, he should excuse himself immediately. It would be shameful and as equally unacceptable should a gentleman entangle himself with a female of poor manners. A gentleman needs a lady, just as a lady needs a gentleman. One cannot consort with beggars and thieves and expect your social standing to be maintained or climb. One cannot consort with beggars and thieves and pine for a decent conversation.

There have been many occasions where I have held my tongue and treated a female like a lady, only to find out later she was the daughter of my boss, or business partner, or worse, his wife. Treating all females as ladies then works to your advantage then. Your good manners and behavior may be rewarded in real monetary ways. Also, promoting someone who is well-mannered is far more palatable than someone who is uncouth. Imagine if you treated clients in such a way as well, what a fine example you would be for your firm's reputation. This could translate into more sales for your firm, and more promotions for you.

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