The Scam of Love
The national entertainment outlets always create love "stories" in the same lame format:
- boy meets girl
- boy and girl aren't perfect
- they obviously need changing
- story over
The entertainment now seeks to depress you to such a degree as to make you discontent with your own life. You've been programmed that you must return to the movies to get your entertainment. Having a dinner party and inviting friends and playing board games is ancient history. [although I did just that last year, was great fun] People are now programmed to think that going to dinner, club and the movies are the ONLY ways to have "fun". The movies and t.v. for their part depress you to such a degree that it bleeds over into your real life. Since they try to define what a "relationship" is for you, when you leave the movie depressed you will then seek out the problems in your own relationship.
"AHA, you did squeeze the toothpaste tube in the middle, this relationship is over."As stupid as that sounds, it is oh so sadly true. The movies present generalities about problems in relationships and people watching these movies take it to heart thinking it is a universal truth, and break up with their loved one.
No man, she watched MTV or some stupid movie and thought that you checking your cell phone every 5 minutes was factual evidence that you were cheating on her. She didn't stop to realize that your grandma was in the hospital with cancer, on her death bed. So now you've lost your grandma and your girl friend all in one day.
"Why did she break up with you man?"
"I don't know, I guess we grew apart."
I can guarantee you this scenario happens daily across the land.
Oh don't let me leave out the chick magazines. When they aren't depressing women with evidence that they are somehow not beautiful for NOT having a heroin induced, malnurished body, they are telling them that:
- something is wrong with their man
- you can change your man
- if your man doesn't listen to you, he's obvious broken
- if the mail-room boy asks you out on a date that somehow he's a pervert and needs to be sued
Then the magazines set you up for disaster in your relationship, by telling you, you can change your man. Yes, simply go out and grab the nearest man you can find, and change him. Obviously, putting effort into finding a decent man FOR YOU, is far too much trouble. Isn't that the message they are actually trying to say? And, what human thinks that they can change an adult male? "An old dogs does not learn new tricks." It's not just a funny saying. It is true. If your ulterior motive in a relationship is to get some good looking guy and MOLD him into what you want him to be, then you are setting you and him up for a disastrous relationship. Get off your lazy anorexic butt and go find a GOOD MAN. And, if the one you find is not perfect, then you might need to change your notions of what perfect is. Ask yourself, who taught you what a perfect man is? I'm not saying go marry an axe murderer, but I am saying if he drinks beer and likes video games, that does not mean he is imperfect. If you require 24/7 attention, the problem is with you, not him. You be you, and let him be him. If you're doing it right, you will "grow together." If you go into a relationship with that open mindedness, then you will never break up / get divorced.
The magazines try to tell you what you want to hear. Apparently, if your man does not listen to you 100% of the time, then something must be wrong with him. Get rid of him. That's the message right? Let's see! Movies and comics and magazines always say that females are "always right." You and me both, know that is a lie. If you do not know all the facts and details about something, there is no possible way you could always be right. You need to wake up and smell the coffee. They are trying to sell you something by flattering your ego. Females are not always right. Men are not always right. Noone is always right. If these magazines are saying females are always right and their men should always listen to them, they are setting you up for a complete break down in communication. How? Because as soon as you get it in your head that "I am always right," then that means you shut down when your man tries to say something. You see how horrible that is? And, you wonder why your relationships are rocky at best.
Finally, these womens' magazines try to get across that if some random guy invites you to dinner, that obviously there is something wrong with him and he needs to be sued, and the company he works for needs to be sued. The gender harassment craze has gotten so far out of hand that it is destroying large segments of the populations. Groups of women are living completely single and wonder why, yet should any man approach them, they look for the gender harassment umbrella. The UPS guy asks them out to dinner - law suit. The pizza delivery guy asks them out on a movie - law suit. The mail-room clerk asks them for their number - law suit. They look up 20 years later, surrounded by cats and wonder why. gender harassment was intended to protect men / women from some ongoing pervert inside the workplace that holds their career in the palm of their hand. While your boss asking you out to dinner, one time, might be unethical, it is not gender harassment. Sometimes people meet people they are attracted to and want to see if it is going to go somewhere. You never know who might be the man of your dreams if you open yourself up to possibilities. Sometimes the most unlikely sources are the best choices. While everyone laughs at the mail-room clerk for hitting on the vice president, how chagrined are they when he gets a three million dollar inheritance from his dead uncle? Or, the UPS truck driver that actually owns 20 routes and works one himself, making half a million a year?
These are just examples of how we take national media and let them define our reality, specifically relationship reality. You should always hear stories from magazines, movies and t.v. as only applying to those particular people. You should repeat to yourself, "that does not apply to me." Even if your mother is trying to give you sage womanly advice and she went through problems, "that does not apply to me." One person's heartaches and mishaps does not mean that everyone is going to have heartache and mishaps in their relationships.
I know of so many women that are man-haters. When I hear their story, it dawns on me that they are man-haters because they were and are immature and did not understand that the trivial problem they had with one man, does not apply to all men. Even that one man, normally, did not do something to them, to deserve full on hate. More than likely, they were listening to another man-hater or saw a stupid movie or read a stupid magazine telling them that if a man does 'XYZ' that he deserves hatred.
I met a lovely Black girl, long ago, that I wanted to date. She stopped me one day and told me that she does not like Black men. When I asked why, she said because her uncle had molested her. I was speechless. I still am. I can only guess that it was just an excuse to hate all Black men. Noone gets something done to them by someone and then equates everyone with some aspect of that one person as evidence that they are all completely like that person. It would be like saying, all men with mustaches are Hitler. As I think about it, I bet my computer that that Black girl had some ridiculous mother or aunt tell her that all Black men are just like her perverted uncle and all deserve to be hated. But, as sure as I sit here typing this, I know thousands upon thousands of women have similar messed up stories like that and are so messed up that they write off whole segments of the population due to something someone told them, i.e. movies, magazines and t.v.
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