Tuesday, December 28, 2010

For Blacks: What is a Man?

Are You a Man?

Read any man-hating feminist website and you'll find 10 definitions of what a man is.  They all circle, like vultures, around the key talking point of the definition of a man being somehow related to the financial responsibility male humans having to their unborn or born children, conceived and delivered out of wedlock.  Contrary to statistical facts to the contrary, these definitions are ultimately aimed at the Black "man".

The straw that broke the camels back, and why I'm writing this article, is when a facebook "friend", a "brother" [you know the type, a stereotypical black guy that MTV loves to put on some stupid reality show they have], parroted that same lame definition that a man is somehow defined by his lack of financial backing of some bastard child he has had.

Let's set the record straight to all you idiots who read this crap and don't do your own research:
  • regardless of your specific retarded Black man that doesn't give you a dime personally, Black MEN spend:
    1. more money, percentagewise, compared to their own income - for their children
    2. more time and more quality time - with their children
    than any other racial category out there.* 
  • there is not a widespread unwed mother epedemic in the Black community - they are a small minority*
  • once married, Black couples tend to stay together for life, moreso than any other racial group - yes Black people have a lower divorce rate*
  • Black people in general are LESS promiscuous than other racial groups - Black people tend to have less premarital sex than other races*

So when you see some Black woman talking about shiftless, trifling, deadbeat Black fathers, you need to correct her and tell her, that that's just HER man.

If I were a conspiracy theorist, I'd venture to guess that the people trying to say Black men have a tendency to be deadbeat fathers, probably aren't even Black.  Say it enough times and people will believe it is true.  But, who would want Black men to have a bad reputation with Black women?  *GASP*  who could it be? [sarcasm off]

The Real Definition of a Man

All stupidity aside, the definition of being "a man" has nothing to do with finances.  Quite frankly, if women didn't give themselves to men, we wouldn't even have an unwed mother issue at all.  Yes, I said it.  And, it needs to be said.  You don't blame T.V. for your child copying a show and killing itself, you blame the parent for being bad parents.  Just as you don't blame some lower income class boy for not paying money to some girl who gave herself to him, several times.  You knew he didn't have money when you met him.  What's the big surprise he doesn't pay you money for you having a bastard child?  Close your legs and none of this would be a problem.  And, quite frankly, in my book, both do not share the responsibility of her being an unwed mother.  A man and a woman are not equal in pregnancy.  Stop trying to put it on the boy that he is somehow equal to a female.  Once you divest yourself of this notion of equality among the sexes you'll notice that women and men are vastly different when it comes to child bearing and rearing.  This carebear, huggably soft, society we live in today is leading us down a blind path towards a cliff.  Once we fall off, there is no turning back.  Women and men are not equal.  Women and men are not the same.

Do you think for a minute, if I, a man, could get pregnant from having casual sex that I would EVER have casual sex?  Oh, let me answer that for you, in case you didn't get my drift.  No! I would never have casual sex.  I would need ironclad assurances before I had sex with anyone.  I would need legally binding documents.  I would need spiritually binding ceremonies.  I would need cosmic forces that would come to bear upon my female counterpart, to force her to raise the child with me and be financially committed to it, before I had sex with her, if I could get pregnant from having sex.

You think that's a joke?  I am in no way joking about that.  I already know the consequence is having a baby.  Why on earth, would I risk that?  I am not kidding at all.

Everyone is quick to say 2 things:
  1. kids are just kids and don't know anything
  2. kids are so grown up these days and know everything
I tend to think the 2nd is true.  I think kids know that by having sex, a baby will pop out.  So I do not think it's harsh to say that EVERYONE knows the consequences of having sex.  If they know to have sex, they know what's going to happen at the other end of that.  Even if you never told a child that, instinctively they know that having sex is different from anything else they have EVER done.  That instinct alone tells us that sex is something unique.

[for those saying it's not kids fault if they have children after having sex, reread the above paragraph]

So I have told you so far that we all know where babies come from; we all know that unwed mothers are a minority within the Black community; so what is the definition of a Black man.  I said all the above to bring you to the frame of mind that, this negative propaganda against the Black man has nothing to do with the core definition of a Black man.  Why in the hell would you define your races strongest sex, by some political mumbo jumbo that's based on lies?

What Does it Mean to be a Black Man?

A man in general is someone who is capable of putting bread on his own table, putting a roof over his own head and standing by his own word.  Notice I made the definition selfish.  Why is that?  Because it is the reality of the definition.  A man is not defined by what he does for a female, nor is a female defined by what she does for a man?  Somehow our society tries to put man and woman together and try to equate them.

When you, a female, goes out to find yourself a "man" you should not looking for a male that has done tricks for other women, you need to find yourself a male that can do for himself.

This is exactly why we are in this stupid predicament of "he my baby daddy and he don't pay me".  If you find yourself a "man" then none of this would happen.

Let's go over that definition.  It has 3 parts:
  1. capable of putting bread on his own table, 
  2. putting a roof over his own head
  3. standing by his own word.
Immediately, if you have studied any psychology or anthropology, that you see the basic human needs are met, food and shelter.  But, for our modern society I have upgraded it to gainful employment and self sufficiency.  Once you find a brother that is self sufficient, the search for a "man" is nearly over.  The very last part of the definition elevates a man as someone that is trustworthy.  You should never jump in bed with anyone, ever, to begin with.  However, should you find yourself in the predicament of falling to lust, make sure you're with a trustworthy man.  If your man is trustworthy to begin with, for the most part, he was probably going to marry you anyway.  Even if he wasn't considering marrying you before you getting pregnant, he would probably go ahead and marry you.

[for those with this foolish notion that marriage isn't everything or that marriage means nothing, someone needs to knock some sense into you.  marriage is everything and children are everything. family is everything. without family you have nothing. regardless of how much money you make in your life, at the end of the day money is meaningless and the lasting impressions are what life is about.]

It's the finding the man you can depend on and trust, that's the hard part.  I know it's easy, in a time of weakness, to just go find any old Tom, Harry and Dick, but the onus is on you to bear the brunt of the responsibility if you end up in a life changing predicament.  You literally have noone but yourself to blame.  Once you have found a dependable man, it is rather easy to date him and / or marry him.  And, as long as you don't sweat the small stuff, your marriage will last forever.

So let's not fall into the trap of letting some bitter man / woman define what a Black man is for us.  With a cool head and mind, we can define what a real Black man, all by ourselves.

Loose Ends

Some people take my definition to mean that they should only date Black men who drives BMWs.  Since I said you should look for a man that can provide for himself.  But, I was being literal when I said he can provide for himself.  Instead of looking for a Black man driving a BMW, you need to look FOR a BMW [Black Man Working].  If you live in gang territory, and the nerd that goes to his Famous Amos job every day and only makes $150.00 / week net take home, isn't considered to be a "baller" in your hood, then you've got your head screwed on wrong.  First of all a "baller" isn't someone who spends lots of money, but someone who makes lots of money.  If the brother is spending lots of money, it means he'll quickly end up without that money.  [hello Toni Braxton, is broke, cuz she spends money like a drunken sailor]

Don't look for the flashy guy, look for the guy that has the mind to be responsible.  If he's responsible to himself, he'll be responsible with you.  If a Black man HAPPENS to drive a BMW, he better be making so much that the cost of the car was negligible to him, meaning in relative terms he could more than afford to buy it and is not going broke from it. [hell for that matter find a brother driving a BMW that is paid off, screw a car payment]

Also do not discount a Black man that lives at home with his parents.  I wish I had parents I could live with, I'd be saving so much money it wouldn't be funny.  If you find a Black man that has a job, or runs a business [even better] and lives at home, then more than likely you have hit the jackpot.
  1. he's not stupid enough to be paying rent, giving his money away to someone else
  2. he's probably stashing away money like a squirrel in summer
  3. he's probably got a lot going on upstairs [as in his brain] since #1 and #2 might be true
So many females disrespect a Black man that lives at home.  More than likely, they don't have a clue about life themselves.  But, should you be one of those females and you're reading this understand this: paying rent makes someone else rich.  Sure you have some privacy [not really if it's an apartment].  Sure you have some security [not really if it's an apartment].  But, for the most part you are working to pay off someone else's mortgage.
Sadly Black people pay a much higher percentage of their monthly income in housing than any other race.  This means that Black people tend to go over the financially sound principles of maintaining and gaining wealth.*
If I were you, you being a young female, I would actually LOOK for a Black man with a job or who owns a business that lives at home.  Unless you can find a Black man that runs his own business and has a house that's already paid for, look for the one that lives at home, the rest are foolish and don't know the value of a dollar.

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