How to Let Men Be Tarzan and You Be Jane

Last year, X Factor judge Kelly Rowland, 31, told reporters: ‘The desire to be in control and decide everything myself as much as possible gets in the way. The fact that I can act a little bossy has ruined quite a few dates.

‘I choose the restaurant, I open the door myself, sometimes I’ll even pay the bill. I need to learn to let a man be a gentleman. That must be one reason why I’m single.’

The inevitable consequence of the gender revolution and the 2nd wave of  feminism [we're currently in the 3rd wave mind you] meant that women were told to be independent. The absurdity is that this independent movement, meant that lesser women did not understand the lesson at all, and thought it meant to be independent of men. But, then turned around and didn't understand that that meant being single too. And, they wonder why.

A lot of women today in their 30s and 40s take on the aspects of men, not the aspects of women. Being the boss, around men, means that men will treat you like another man, not like a potential spouse. It is a very glaring fact.

If you open your own doors, pay your own way and drive yourself to a date, then you are a business partner, not a lady. That is the perception.

You might as well wear pants and smoke cigars around him, and slap him on the back when he tells jokes, just be one of the guys. The fact that you have boobs matters little when you come across more like a trucker than a dainty dame.

Why it is So Hard to Let Go

The real problem is that most women, in the yuppie years, cannot be told that they are acting like the man. The very thing that makes them bossy, also clouds their vision when someone tells them that they are acting bossy.

Understandably, the set of skills it takes to get into middle management are the very same behaviors that render them single, being bossy. The real problem is the complete inability to recognize this.

The perfect woman would be a boss at work, and as soon as she set foot across her threshold, she would turn into a dainty dame that cooked her husband dinner and curled up next to him on the couch and fall asleep in his arms.

Lesser women cannot do this. Due to the American educational system, the media, the babying of the country, most people, men and women, only think in terms of A or B, this or that, black or white, 1 or 2. As adults, we are kept in an infant state of thinking, and cannot understand of our capability to be complex individuals with multiple sides and adjust to different people in different situations.

We have terribly juvenile sayings like, "you cannot be all things, to all people."

That saying is conditioning the person that tries to adhere to it, to mean, you should be hot or cold only. Such a person who listens to that advice could never conceive of being hot, cold, warm or even more incredibly, FUZZY. I mean, what exactly does fuzzy have to do with that list? And, that's exactly my point. In a world of hot or cold people, black or white people, type A or type B people, a person that comes along that is "fuzzy" would be looked at as if they were a complete alien. But, get this, to other fuzzy people, he or she, would be perfect.

You Jane, Me Tarzan

So how do you let men be Tarzan and you be Jane? It is easy. Be a lady around men.

Sure at work, you can be as bossy as ever. At work, you can tell your employees when to jump and how high, and if they don't do it, be as snippy as you want. It might not win you friends at work, but what do you care. [ I am being sarcastic if you did not understand. Don't be a jerk at work. ]

But, on a blind date, be a lady. And, for those that do not know what a lady is, as apparently it is complete lost on this generation, I have a list for you.

How to Be a Lady

• The essence of being a lady and the most important thing that governs all other actions in your life is: "always look for a way to be kind and generous"
• "learn to speak the best English, with perfect grammar" the rest of this entire list will be completely undone if you do not speak properly
• this might trip up many modern women but it has to be said: "always wear a dress or skirt"
• being a lady is about being modest about your body: "never wear anything that lets your knees show, nor wear anything that goes below your collar bone"
• when sitting, keep the knees together, and they should never separate, even when crossing them or switching them to cross the other leg
• this might sound more modern than old-fashioned, but it is actually quite old thinking: "always be organized"
• "always be groomed, even at home, even first thing in the morning" it is a lot of work, but you're worth it
• "always wear the best dress or skirt for the occasion" you don't wear a gown to a football match
• "learn manners and always behave politely" this goes a long way in all aspects of life, including business
• "always be kind and expect the very best in people" you cannot go around thinking everyone is going to use you or mistreat you, because a few people are criminals and have criminal minds, most people do not have criminal minds
• "always carry a modest-sized purse with emergency nicknacks in it" things like hairpins, pencil, napkins, handkerchief, small notebook, and things you might need in a friendly emergency
• "learn a crafting hobby like embroidery"
• "learn to sing and play an instrument"
• "learn to write with a pen beautifully"
• "learn at least two classical dances" at very least waltz and tango
• "keep a lean [not skinny] figure" walk for an hour every day
• "learn to draw" this will not only help you appreciate art in general, but it sharpens your own mind so that if ever you're in a situation where you need to remember how someone looks, your mind will be trained to remember small details
• your reputation is your most precious commodity "never visit a man's house after sundown" you know what I mean, it is a really bad scene and the neighbors will think far less of you if they see you entering a man's house after dark
• "never visit a man's house you do not know personally even in the day time" the real story here is you should not visit a man's house that has not made it clear he intends to marry you, having "fun" is not lady-like, it is for common women
• "never kiss a man [non-husband] in public and in private never kiss a man for more than 5 seconds" it takes a man no more than 5 seconds to become gender aroused, a lady does not have gender with strange men, nor with men who are not their husband, to do so means you are no longer a lady, to avoid this, you do not kiss a man in private for more than 5 seconds, if he cannot understand why you won't have gender with him, then either he's too dumb [which disqualifies him] or really has no intention of ever being with you as husband and wife [it's really just that simple] and you may come right out and tell him "I will not be with a man who is not my husband" remember it doesn't take years to get married
• "never walk alone outside of your home, especially at night" no matter what you think you know, or what weapon you carry in your purse, and this applies to men THERE IS ALWAYS A BIGGER, STRONGER MAN THAT CAN TAKE YOU
• "it is a good idea to share the first 3 dates with a friend, a la double-date" most date rapes happen between men and women that hardly know each other, a lady protects herself
• "never ever have a 3rd glass, and never drink in front of a stranger or leave your glass alone" a lady is never intoxicated in public, and you must protect yourself at all times
• "always have an escort to and from a party" strength in numbers is not only good protection, but is very classy
• "never call anyone after 10pm and do not receive calls after 10pm" people will respect this immediately, even work
• "always call someone back immediately or the next day, even if it is to say that you're sorry but you cannot do a certain thing" a lady is always polite first, even if it is to say no
• "call and visit friends frequently" a lady thinks of others and this is quite contagious
• "always show up with a small gift, never show up empty-handed" even if you're the guest of honor, bring something
• "learn how to cook, above average" a lady knows her way around a kitchen, and is organized in it
• "remember everything" birthdays, anniversaries, things mentioned around you for gifts, who's allergic to what food when you're having a dinner party
• "never curse, nor say anything rude"
• "always ignore people's faults"
• "if someone falls, ask a man to help them up first, if no man is present, with knees together, bend down and offer your hand to help them up, while asking if they are hurt" always be thinking of the other persons feelings, never laugh at someone falling down, gravity is always with us
• "protect children" this should be a no brainer
• "always practice table manners" asked things to be be passed to you "please", no elbows on the table
• "learn a small giggle" there is nothing more distasteful than loud laughter from a "lady" a small giggle will ingratiate you to everyone
• "learn to giggle at men's jokes" there is nothing more endearing than a lady that giggles at a man's jokes, and a lady is always light-hearted anyway, so it should come naturally
• "never let people see your open mouth" this sounds very strange, but it goes along with loud laughing, if they never see your open mouth, then you are not laughing loud or talking loud, a lady is always composed
• "always write thank you notes, and by hand, for everything" you should keep a complete stack of personal envelopes and blank cards, at your home desk, for thank you notes for being invited to parties, gifts that you received, interviews, a lady is always thoughtful
• "always send cards for every occasion, written by hand" this should go without saying, and this is on top of any gift you're going to give, everything comes with a card, and you send cards to distant acquaintances if you can
• "remember to never gossip, never allow gossip to be spoken around you" a lady always thinks the best of people and ignoring people's faults goes right along with this, and a lady stamps out rumors from even being spoken around her, if all else fails, excuse yourself from the room, or even if you must, leave the house, it is just that crucial. people will get the picture almost immediately, that they cannot gossip around you.
• "visit people" not just friends for friendship, but when they are in the hospital, pregnant, sick, and try to bring something with you, they will always be glad to see you
• "always wear a hat outside" this might seem really old-fashioned, but protecting your skin is as practical as a matching hat, but it also sets you apart if you're in a dress and hat at all times
• "always wear shades" in beaming summer sun it protects your eyes, in the winter, wear very light colored shades to protect your eyes, again it sets you apart
• "always wear light make-up" even at home you should wear some light make-up so that you look your best at all times, you never know when you might get a phone call to visit a friend in the emergency room
• "people come first" this is the mantra of a lady, other people come first, you cannot go wrong with it. don't be stupid about it, but do not dismiss people like undignified people do

If you print this and start practicing it, you will find within a week, everyone around you will change.

Looking over the list, you might think that it is hard and a lot of work. But, frankly, it is a mindset and not nearly as complicated as it seems. Being in the right frame of mind is the part that kick-starts you into being a lady. The essence of it, is simply being polite and modest.

It is fine to be a 3rd degree black belt, but keeping that knowledge to yourself, is the mark of a lady. [and gentleman actually] This is where many women falter. They feel they have to show off that they know something. The only person you should share your knowledge and secrets with, is your husband. You can hide behind your napkin. Also when you are in an intimate setting with your husband, you can behave differently, and let him see your secret thoughts and share your past with him. 

Being a lady at home and in public, while knowing your secrets is what really bonds your husband to you, and you to him. 

The inside joke, is the bond between you. The more inside jokes you have with your husband the stronger the relationship.

Can You Behave Like a Lady and Get Married

Looking over the lady list, a lot of women may ask, can I do all this or not do "normal" things every-day women do, yet still get married. In particular, can you not have gender with a man and he still asks you to marry him. Yes.

You do not have to have gender with a man, to get him to marry you.

It is just that simple. 

You can be a lady around a man, and it will make him more apt to ask your hand in marriage, than if you slept with him.

Conclusion

Women are finding that being bossy and picky at work is bleeding over into their personal lives and are ending up alone for life. Change from being a bossy, picky, snide woman into being a lady. A lady is far more apt to get asked to be married.

I would venture to say, that being a lady at work will get you ahead far more than being one of the guys too. Men have an almost instinctive reaction to women that act like ladies, i.e. doing things for them without thinking. I would think it would be very hard not to be promoted as a well organized lady at work, compared to being a bossy snot. Sure, you both get the job done, but you, as a lady, get it done while everyone around you enjoys your company.

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What Men Want

If men were honest they would say the following.  I am sure women think they know what men want, and I am sure they think men are so transparent and simple that they have them all figured out.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  Men are not simple, and are just as complex and multifaceted as women.  It is illogical to think that because you have a vagina, that somehow you are transcended to a much loftier mind and being than a human with a penis.  If you actually believe that somehow your breasts make you more than a non-breast-having human, then you have fallen for the oldest trick in the book, marketing of "women".

If you have been reading this blog for any length of time, you'll notice, time and again, I shed light into the world that is psychobabble, marketing to the gender and the social stratification builds set up simply to get you to buy into various notions, all for you to put your money down.  Think tanks all over America have come up some doozy complicated propaganda to get women to think one way, "I am equal to a man, if not better."  The truth is, the people behind the marketing, have absolutely no care for women nor even consider them worthy of the things they pretend to give them, equality.  That is to say, these think tanks that came up with "women can work", "women are equal to men", and "women are better than men" nearly all despise women, and consider them inferior.  So why put out propaganda to get them to work and vote and other things?  The truth is simple.  If a woman buys into the notion that a woman's place is not to raise children, take care of the home while hubby goes and wins the bread, then she drops kids and hubby and comes and works as well, and has her own money, to buy crap, without needing approval from her hubby.  Also, with women working the corporate fat cats have another cheap labor pool to exploit for profit.

So, now that you have an understanding what's at work when you think you know what a man wants, you are broken down and suddenly realize that the whole notion that women are somehow: more intuitive, more nurturing, more sensible than a man is all hogwash.

Men are Driven by gender

This is more propaganda put out by your local police, city government and nation government.  How can they make men appear to be driven by gender ?  Easy, they deprive the population of gender , then turn around and put out scandalous information in the media / news that promotes gender .

No man, that is a man, is governed by the thought of gender .  If you find a male, driven by gender , he is an infant in the brain and no man at all.

At the end of the day, having gender may seem like an "adult" thing, but in reality, having lots of gender and constantly thinking about gender is a teenage thing.  Once a man has become and actual adult, he puts aside gender thoughts and starts to think about much, much bigger things in life.

What could it benefit the country to have men in a juvenile state?  Easy, it's called the police / nanny state.  That means that if the men have no matured to the point where they are beyond the adolescent phase, then the government is their father in all things and can tell them what to do.  If you don't have real, thinking, adult men in the population, then you can control everyone.

Do not mistake this point to mean that men don't want to have gender , which stupid people reading this blog sometimes do.  The point is that they are not GOVERNED by the wish for gender .  Sure, most everyone "wants" gender , but adults don't think about it 24 / 7.

Moral: if you find a male that always talks about gender or wants to have gender with you, that male has not matured into adulthood yet, or never will.

Men Will Do Anything for Women

Sadly, I am sure you women have already concluded this is not true at all.  First off, some men, a very minor few, are gender so, of course they will not do anything for you.  Secondly, unless the man is another immature brat, you cannot control him with your vagina.  Yeah, so point one is starting to take shape?  I know a lot of women that are with complete scrubs and control their guys with the threat of no vagina.

First of all, the very idea that you would think to control someone with them getting into your vagina is gender , to begin with.  Now stop for a second.  Think back to commercials, jokes, movies where you saw this in play.  Even a silly comment like "none for you tonight honey".  It indoctrinates you to buy into this gender notion: I can control a man with my vagina.  STOP!  Now if you read point one carefully, you know what I am about to say.  If you can control a man with your vagina, he is not a man at all.

So manipulation aside, why do real men do things for women?  It is pretty obvious.  A human will do something nice for another human for only two reasons: they are a nice person [ which never happens in modern society ]; or they want to gain favor with that person [ even kids understand this concept of reverse manipulation ].  So, if you, the woman, think you are lording over someone because they do things for you, take a step back and realize what you do for them in return.  Don't you feel obligated if someone does something for you?  Everyone does.  Isn't that how the dating scene is?  It's like rule #1, do something for the other person and they will date / fall in love / marry you ... eventually.  Trust me, it's a backwards notion, and a very immature way of approaching love.  There we go again with the immaturity.

Moral: the very thought that you would control someone with your vagina is a gender notion. That aside, if you can control a male with your vagina, he is not a man to begin with.

Men Only Want One Thing From a Woman

Sadly, it breaks my heart to even hear women or worse, men say this.  Again, only an immature male would say this.  Men do not want gender from women, as the be all end all.  If push came to shove there are plenty of sheep and goat in the world that men could stick their penis in.  Remember that.  In the 1700s there was a small town that was plagued with witch hunts.  They killed so many women, as witches, that they had nearly none left of any decent age.  The men took to having gender with sheep after awhile.  Sad but true.

Men want a myriad of things from women.  First and foremost is companionship.  As much as the commercials and TV and movies say men are afraid of commitment, it is not true.  Notice how much this is said all over the place: "men are afraid of commitment".  Unless a man is genuinely uninterested in you, they will date / marry you.  There is tremendous marketing to get you AND men to buy into the notion that men are afraid of commitment.  Why?  Because then you won't seek a boyfriend or you'll sabotage all your relationships and go get a job yourself, and spend your money by yourself.  See the scam?  It's one big circle.

Men want someone that likes them, just for being them.  What does that mean?  That means, when he's 40, you don't get bored of him because he lost his muscles, or going bald or doesn't play basketball every Saturday.  It means you love the person inside, not outside.  Love is an inward thing, not an outward thing.

America is so caught up in looks, as opposed to overseas.  Look at movies from other countries and you'll immediately notice that their actors are not as polished, porcelain, plastic as ours.  So the entire fake look thing trickles down all through our society.  When was the last time you went shopping for clothes and why did you buy the clothes you bought?  That's the real question.  Why do you buy the things you buy?  Looks.  So if a man gets signs from you that you're into him only for his looks, after awhile he'll treat you the same way. And, we pick up on that real quick.  The couple down the road got a divorce at 40, because he said she got fat.  Is he a bastard for that?  Or, the truth is, she treated him like a trophy husband from day one so when she lost her looks, he moved on.

Moral: be sure the man you're with is not just into you for the gender .  Why?  Because he can get gender from anyone, anything AND it doesn't have to be a woman.  Real talk.  It doesn't have to be human.  Real talk.

The Lowest Common Denominator

When girls get together they say and act one way.  When they are alone or one on one, they say and act differently.  Men are no exceptions to this.  The expectations are totally different of course.  The sad part is, as the group gets larger, everyone gets dumber.  The same is true for women as it is for men.  The lowest common denominator is the rule.  Noone in the history of man, has ever been brave enough to appear smarter than anyone in a group they wish to be part of.  Let me put that another way.  To be a part of a group, everyone feels they have to belong to the group.  So, they make sure they don't say anything to make them stand out.  The easiest way NOT to stand out, is to appear to be smarter than anyone in the group.

If that is true then, when these men get together the dumbest person in the group is the guide.  Going back to my other points, the most immature man in the group is how the group will act.  Once the man is part of the group he learns from the group.  So if 2 men in a group of 5 are immature adolescent gender fiends, then the group will be also.  The lowest common denominator wins.

So when you see a man in a group that you like and he acts like a douche bag to you, understand what is going on.  He is expected to act like a douche bag.

Also, when men get together and the dumbest person only thinks about gender , all the men in the group will seek approval from the group by relating gender stories.

Another way and another aspect of this lowest common denominator is the "misery loves company" group.  This is a group of men that will go out of their way to say and do the most depressing things imaginable to impress the group.  Ever wonder why a guy who scratches himself or breaks something gets up and says "boy wait till the guys hear this".  Well now you know why.

What to Take From This

At the end of the day, a man wants one thing.  No, that's a lie.  That what everyone wants you to believe.  The reality is, a man wants a myriad of things:

• companionship till he's old and gray
• someone to share moments with
• someone who shares the same interests as him
• someone to take care of his household
• someone to take care of and have his children [ i know that sounds old fashioned but it is still STILL true ]
• someone that respects him AND respects herself [ being with a gender is fun when you're 17, but not when you're 27 ]
• someone to take care of [ I know, sounds weird, but a man still wants to be a man - me Tarzan you Jane ]

A lot of women miss the boat.  On TV it seems that only cool people are on.  The whole Waltons type of family is dead and gone off of TV, but the reality is that is how men want to live.  

I hate to say it but, if you do not submit yourself to a man and allow him to be the man of the house, then more than likely, either you don't have a man or your relationship is doomed to fail.  A man doesn't grow up and leave the house to submit to another father figure.  At some point he has to become the father figure.  If you're so caught up in this women's lib thing that you cannot see this, then there's no hope for you.  A boy cannot be a father.  I know many try, but ... yeah the proof is in the pudding.

At some point you have to be a woman to your man, and not a man to your man.  Now that's just creepy when it's broken down like that.  But, so many "modern" women are trying to be a man to their man.  Honey, if that's the case then you don't want a man or shall I say, he don't want a woman.  If you get my drift.  LOL

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