Jokes So Bad They're Hilarious
HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO
"They sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn't help me at all."
My wife and I decided only to smoke after sex. I haven't had a cigarette in 10 years but my wife is up to two packs a day.
"My father had to hang a pork chop around my neck to get the dog to play with me."
I told my wife I was seeing a psychiatrist.
She said she’s seeing a psychiatrist a bartender and two plumbers
My wife said she wants to have sex in the back seat...she wants me to drive.
I met a girl once. She was great. Beautiful. I left her for my wife and kids
I told his landlord that I wanted to live in a more expensive apartment so she raised his rent!
There was a custody battle for me an noone showed up
My wife's cooking was so bad, the flies chipped in to fix the screen door!
"I had an uncle that was sent to the electric chair....he asked me to sit on his lap!"
The doctor said "I'm afraid you have a terrible disease but don't worry we will put you up in a nice room and feed you Lebanese bread and sliced cucumber" I said " Gee doc will that cure me?" He said "No that's the only thing that will fit under the door".
The doctor asked me "Do you still have the ringing in your ears" ? - "I'm even getting busy signals now"
"My doctor told me to take plenty of fluids and get a lot of rest. I drank until I passed out."
"My wife, she's the worst cook in the world. We have the only dog who begs for Alka-Seltzer".
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