That Time Cornelius the Ancient was Visited by God

I've lived over 2,000 years. This is nothing compared to my kinsmen Cornelius. Time to him is inconsequential, because he stands outside of time. In my 2,000 years, almost all with him, he has told me secrets of the universe. One of this was about the christian god. This is what he told me.

"The new humans believe that god started out first and created the world and the universe. The idea is ridiculous, because I (Cornelius) was here before any human; before even the planet. Humans have no concept of time, so they only measure things in time. They put god before them as a sort of respect, but god cannot exist without their own belief. The truth is, humans came first, created god out of their need to have something greater than themselves, once they got a bit of intelligence and poof he came into existence. But unfortunately, this new god, is just that, the news of all the thousands of gods they've created. He's the weakest of all the gods ever, because the belief of humans is the weakest it's ever been."

One day in the lair a being came into the lair and with his presence, thunder struck and everyone in the lair died, except myself and Cornelius of course, since he's a true immortal. 

I rushed into his bed chamber, to see what had happened. And there stood this being bathed in white light. He was an African with bare feet and a long robe. His eyes burned like molten lava, and he had an aura, not too unlike Cornelius'. 

Cornelius sat in his bed with his pillow at his back. He drank tea, a thing he was trying to see why people liked it.

"Father all the staff are dead," I said not taking my eyes off the being.

Cornelius moved his finger, on the tea cup, and it was as if the entire lair came to life. You could feel life return to the place. 3 of my sons came into the bedchamber, aware that they had died. It probably wouldn't be the last time it would happen to them.

"You are an abomination in my sight," said the being.

Cornelius casually took a sip from his cup and said, "I could said the same about you, you little upstart." He looked at me and he lifted up his cup and said, "take a sip."

I went to his bed and took a sip. I thought he wanted me to see if it had enough sugar or something. I immediately knew the taste. He waved my sons over to also sip. They hesitated so I motioned them over.

As he gave each one a sip he continued, "Barthalameus, my child, this is the creature the humans call god."

By this time the blood from the teacup had taken over and I was reeling. It was burning my stomach and quickly spreading out through my bod. My sons lay writhing on the floor by then.

God caught on that he had been somehow tricked. BOOM, his voice almost cracked the foundation of the floor. You could tell immediately that another way of death had gone through the lair. My 3 sons still lay on the floor writhing, in both pain and euphoria. The last of their humanity was leaving them, but they remained untouched by the voice of god, as did I.

Cornelius lifted a finger on his teacup again and said, "I would wish you would stop killing off my offspring. You do know I could kill you. I could make you cease to exist and I could, with a snap of my finger wipe out all of your believers, and wipe the memories of all the humans to even remember you ever existed. Do not tempt me. Isn't that what you told them?"

"I am the lord, they god." He bellowed.

Another wave of death. Another finger lift by Cornelius.

Cornelius sat the teacup and saucer down on the floor next to him. He took the fingernail of his right hand and drew a line on his left wrist. I expected to see blood drip down from it but instead a being started forming. It was crimson and power and red emanated from it. The horror of what it was spread over me. The revulsion I felt, knocked me to my knee.

It was the blood god.

God took a step back. Was that fear he felt? Was it revulsion? No one knows, because the blood god walked out of the room. Shrieks of fear started ringing out throughout the lair. You could tell it was walking, because the screams started and stopped and god fainter as it went.

I looked at Cornelius. The blood god was it's own being separate from Cornelius and it didn't like going back in. Once it took a century to convince it back in. This was only after it drank dry scores of vampires, including ancient ones, thousands of years old. 

The lair grew silent. Only the panting of my 3 sons could be heard in the bedchamber. The rest of the lair was silent, but I could tell everyone was still alive.

"You are an abomination. You unleash this upon the world," god said.

"Why did trespass in my lair?" Cornelius was growing impatient with the young god.

"You murdered an angel and several fallen angels. How did you do this?" god said.

When god created the angels and even the fallen angels, he gave a part of himself to create them. He thought they were immortal, like him. He thought he was a force of nature, which you can no more kill then you can a thought. 

With Cornelius destroying the angels, a part of god also died. That which he gave to create them, did not return to him.

"Look in the hallway of time. I stand at the doorway," Cornelius said.

God looked down at the floor and then back up at Cornelius in horror. BOOM his voice went again and I could feel the full force of the deathway this time. The door split open at that instant and the blood god was upon god instantaneously, but before he could sink his teeth into his neck, god was gone.

The blood god had solid form and stood there as a naked Black man. He held up a finger, upon which a single drop of blood was.

"I GOT ITS BLOOD," the blood god spoke. The voice was as loud as god's, but it grated on your soul. It knocked me to my knees. Clearly it was much more powerful than the last time it was out. Now I was doing the writhing on the flood, because the voice lingered in the brain.

It came over to me and knelt down. It placed the drop of blood in my mouth. That didn't help. Taking pity on me, it bent over and kissed me, dropping a drop of its own blood in my mouth, in the kiss. The searing pain I felt, directly coming from the blood god, made me go numb with pain, but the lingering voice calmed down within me, slowly, bit by bit. It bent over again and kissed me, another drop of blood. I was on the verge of fainting now. My own blood draw away from my skin. My beautiful dark hue turned an ashen grey as if I were dead, myself.

I didn't knw what was happening, but Cornelius knocked the blood god off of me and he flew, crashing into the wall at the far end. The blood god lay laughing at the other end.

"I do not want this one to become me. He has many children I want him to have. Leave him be," Cornelius roared at the blood god.

Cornelius grabbed my foot. I didn't notice, but I was floating in the air. He put me in his bed and made me sleep. There I would stay for an entire month.

As I drifted off, I was worried. Who would take care of Cornelius? And a tiny voice inside of me said, he's a god. You do not take care of him.

Cornelius the Ancient Buys a New Mansion

 Cornelius the Ancient Buys a New Mansion

One the aspect of living forever is that you create layers between you and the outside world. One of the ways to do this is to buy permanent assets, like home and businesses and put them in other people's name. The beauty of this modern era is that you don't even do that anymore. You create a business, name the business and then have the business own things, including other businesses.

You put people in charge that you hire and fire every 10 years or so. No one ever suspects a thing, because the people in charge change so often, it wouldn't dawn to check the pictures.

What's even better is if you and your master have supernatural abilities to influence entire cities, to the point that they issues identification, licenses, and business names, all without even realizing it. If they ever check, when they're not under our spell, everything is in order.

You make sure the business doesn't make too much money and they keep regular people hired. You make sure the business doesn't go bankrupt so that the authorities don't check on it.

When you look at the layers we're talking about, it is 20,000 different businesses all subsidiaries of one another. It is a huge web, so complicated that the best minds would have to come together and cooperate to understand it all.

Today Cornelius is going to buy a new mansion. One of my sons is getting married. He is the CEO of one of the companies and his bride was picked out by me. I personally groomed the human family to be excellent and perfect, and made sure the daughter was of the best qualities.

We watched on closed circuit TV. We could not attend, because cameras and vampires do not mix. Sometimes equipment just does not work around a vampire and sometimes it works too well. Either the people there won't see the vampire and camera will, or the camera won't and the people will, so that people hugging the vampire will appear just bizarre to the camera.

Sometimes fine luxury glasses and plates have silver or cold iron or other strange metals in them and they do not vanish with the vampire.

So, Cornelius and I and other staff members got dressed up and watched on closed circuit television. The 3rd reception would be at the lair. The line of cars from the 2nd reception to the lair would be 50 cars long. The staff were so excited to do something other than take care of one vampire, who really didn't need them. He could, if he wanted to snap his fingers and everything would be done for him. He allowed them to serve him to make sure they weren't bored.

The lair was always busy. It was renovated and remodeled every 6 months. Right when staff got used to walking around the furniture, it changed. without fail an entire tray of food was dumped on the floor once a year.

Today was a very busy day. I was on my toes, ordering around everyone. My son was to be independent of the lair and he would be setup in his own estate. We had to choose a name for him.

I keep saying MY son. He is also related to Cornelius, very, very distantly. He was the one that would open the book of the family and choose a name. It was a magnificent book. It was huge. It took 4 servants to carry it.

The ceremony was just breathtaking by itself. Cornelius sat on one corner table, groom and bride at the center, and I sat on the other side of the groom. A bronze bell was rung, and the hall went silent. The 4 servants brought in the book on a podium. Cornelius stook up and they gingerly slid the podium in front of him on the table. They knelt and Cornelius opened the book and turned page after page.

The human guests and family members were all silent, as he flipped page after page. "Terren the 6th shall be you and your wife's name from now, forward."

Everyone stood, took their glasses and yelled, "we greet you Terren the 6th!"

It was not over. The 4 servants retrieved the book and 4 more servants removed that table so that Cornelius could walk on the inner circle of the tables. He would make a series of proclamations. Of course, they would all come true, because Cornelius stands outside of time. It's like looking out of a window, for him.

"And for you my dear, great granddaughter, I proclaim you will have 4 children...." and everyone stood up and cheered. The bride nervously giggled and said under her breath, "I was hoping for just one." My son hugged her and kissed her temple and smiled. Cornelius continued with the proclamations, which included predictions on the economy. This is the part where the family is to take note and the real reason they came. It was Cornelius' gift to them.

When the reception was over, Cornelius stood in the line, by me and everyone kissed the ringed finger. They were thanking him for the prediction. With over 200 people being prosperous all of a sudden, no one would get suspicious.

Standing in the line, though, also served another purpose. As they passed in front of us, we wiped all the mortal's minds of the true location of the laire. They would remember everything except how to get here. Also, for the next year they would feel at peace.

It took me 100 years to make Cornelius understand that, that was a good thing to do for guests.

I felt sorry for my son, though. As my son, he was born to a semi immortal father. I had taken so much of Cornelius' blood, that I was very close to being a vampire, myself. Actually, I was much more powerful than any vampire walking around, even the oldest of them. It also meant my children, without any other input, of blood, would live at least for 1,000 years.

His wife would not.

She is a normal human. What she doesn't know is all of her children will also live 1,000 years. Every year, my son had the task, on their birthdays, to age them a year, otherwise, the children would stay infants for 100 years. They would be smart infants, but they would look like infants. So each birthday party, he would cast a spell and age them. All the way till they turned 16.

The wife wouldn't know what would be going on, but the children, right around 9 years old, would catch on. My son, is 30 years old, but he looks 20. I told him to look that young, because I wanted him to hurry up and marry the young woman when she turned 18. I also made him a little taller.

2 days later, the family, not friends, would gather at the new mansion, and the newlyweds would be presented with the new mansion and a couple of brothers that agreed to be their servants for a decade or so. A few of the other relatives would act as servants too. 

The wife would know none of this. So on the steps of the new mansion, Cornelius made a big ceremony of handing over a giant key, that fit a lock, to a red ribbon that went clear around the house. You could see the wife's eyes get big, as soon as she stepped out of the car, leading up the steps. Cornelius made it a big deal to say, "I let you stay in my house for as long as ye both shall live." And with that he kissed each on the temple.

The family clapped. As Cornelius stepped down the stairs, one of the other family's young men came up to him and said, "I want to get married." Cornelius stopped and looked at the young man. He took his his hand, clasped the ear with his palm, and wiped his forehead with his thumb. "Would you like to get married?" he asked. The young man started, as if the idea had just came to him. "Yes, I would like to get married."

I don't know what he did to the young man, but I know, he changed him, somehow, fundamentally.

"Let's see now. Oh my, you're 35," Cornelius said, looking at the young man, who didn't look a day over 20. "Where are your two brothers?"

Cornelius knew everyone in the family, intimately, and didn't miss the smallest detail. I knew that this young man's father, was another retainer, like me, but he wanted to keep his children close to him, forever. He could have had 50 children, if he wanted, but instead he only had 3 boys and kept them close to him.

Aha, that's what Cornelius changed. He changed the young man from being dependent on his father, to being independent, because that's what the young man was truly asking. Cornelius loved weddings. He could have just changed the young man and left, but he loved weddings, so he also put the seed of marriage in the young man.

When we got back to the lair, after granting my son the mansion, I spoke to him. "Why didn't you change the father?" What Cornelius told me staggered me.

"Bart, sit down. I am truly all powerful. You know this. This retainer of mine. He is my grandson, like you are my grandson. His father left him, when he was very young. It was no fault of the father, but other the mother. She is not of my blood, so I had nothing to do with that. I knew he would turn out ok. So I left him be. He wants to keep his children with him forever. He wants to give them the smothering love he missed from his father.

I could change him. I could wipe his brow, and take away all the pain and sorrow he has. But, this sorrow runs deep. This pain runs deep. He breathes it. He sweats it. He gave life to it, in the form of 3 sons.

If I changed him, it would break who he is. This pain has to be balanced with triumph. I am all powerful, but I also believe in the balance of things. If I do a magical thing, it's just moving the timetable up a little bit.

The pain this man feels, must be balanced with the triumph of 3 weddings. And when each son has 10 grandchildren each, it will overflow that man's heart so much, he will cry tears of great joy, when his father shows up. He will proudly introduce him to all of his grandchildren. Also, the father is going to look, not a day over 40. He will feel, as if, he had met his father when he was a kid, all over again," Cornelius finished and kissed me on the forehead.

I was so happy for my cousin. I couldn't wait to see it all play out.

Cornelius' descendant tells when he first met the vampire god

I know I look 30 years old, but if I had to confess to you my true age, it's more along the order of 2,500 years. There is something I want to tell you about the blood a vampire has, it is a separate entity, yet is the vampire. When you give that blood to a live creature, it transforms them, very close to what a vampire is, but it is not in full control, since the life essence is that final line it cannot overcome.

But, it is far more separate in a living creature, than it is in a vampire. Imagine then in a being that is millions of years old. 

Cornelius told me, one time, he met angels. When they tried to brag about how they were at the beginning of time, Cornelius said, it was not so, because he was there before they were made. When they said they could clearly see his age written on him, a power most spiritual beings possess, out popped a blood twin of Cornelius and repeated, that it had been there when they were created.

When one of the angels went to attack Cornelius, he merely snapped his finger and the angel poofed out of existence, but not just out of existence. His entire existence was wiped from time itself. The angels, who are not slaves to time, like humans are, however, knew that Cornelius had wiped the angel from history, but were aware that it had existed before it was no more. Slowly their memories of the angel faded too.

It was then that one of the angels asked if they should worship Cornelius. An archangel approached Cornelius and grabbed him by the chin and turned his face, this way and that, to see if he had some sort of mark on him. When he found nothing, he looked at the blood being, but dared not approach. Cornelius said that he had no name and that he was above time, and even angels have to obey time, but he does not. He is outside of all the laws of nature.

It was this being that approached me, one night. He introduced himself and sat down in my small temple. I was writing. He said he was my direct ascendant. He then quoted my line for 12 generations.

You see, in those days, we didn't have last names. We would quote our lines to each other. Hopefully someone in that line would be famous, so that the person you're speaking to, knows either, where you come from, or who your people are.

With quoting my own line to me, and going back 12 generations, much more than I could do, I was assured he was one of my progenitors, but I had no idea he was ... THE progenitor. For 30 nights he came to me. He bid to stay with me, in my temple. I was very much obliged, being a respecter of my kinsmen. He would leave me notes, about people, who were trying to get over on me. I thought nothing of it, and thought it was a talent he had. I too had the same talent, but not as direct, like him. He could see them walking up, and tell me before they even entered what was about to occur.

My temple became popular. The king of the land, who sat in the house called pharaoh, for that is what we called it. It is a foolish time when they call the king a pharaoh and don't call the throne anything, these days, came to visit my temple. I was called a seer. My kinsmen told me not to say anything to him. you see, the king was always regarded as a god. If you anger a king, you might live, but if you anger a god, the entire nation would be upon you.

I burned incense. I boiled water. I bathed the king. I poured oil on his feet and his head. But, when I went to divine what it was that he wanted me to see, I told him nothing. I was very talented. Cornelius told me to say nothing, even before the king stepped into my temple. When I breathed in the incense and went into full divination mode, I saw that the king wouldn't survive, not even 30 days. I also saw that his general, who helped me bathe and oil him, would be the hand that smote him. But, I also saw that general would be found and smote on the spot.

Why bring either man's wrath on my head, by revealing this, since it was a zero sum game they played. So I said, I saw nothing, which could be neither good nor bad. I bowed to the king and bid him go in peace.

After being bathed and oiled, the king was in high spirits, so my lack of a divination didn't even bother him.

I asked Cornelius after they left, should I have the general killed? He said, the king wasn't a man of any note, no matter how short nor long he lives.

When the king was killed, my fame didn't wane. No one blamed me for not seeing it, nor blamed me for anything. The divinations I did see, were almost earth shattering, so those successes lived on, even when I left that land. 

A year after the king left, Cornelius revealed himself to me as an ancient and powerful being. He had had many wives and many children. He wasn't my great grandfather, he was the progenitor of my family line. He said he was ageless and ancient beyond measure.

He took a chalice from my table and a ceremonial dagger and pricked his hand. Blood filled the chalice and it stopped just as quickly as it started. He told me, drink the entire cup, though it may burn, drink it all.

I drank from that chalice for what seemed like an hour. It was agonizing pain. They tell me, newly formed vampire can't even tell that it's painful, because their thirst is thousands times stronger than the pain.

I was in a deep sleep for over a month after that. My wife and children were told I had passed away. They buried me. I awoke to Cornelius digging me out of the grave. That night was so dark, not a star in the sky. We slipped out of Kemet, never to return. That was almost 3,000 years ago.

I have never had a blood being pop out of me, but the blood definitely is not me, but IS me. It is in every cell of my body, even inside my bones. If I wanted to, I could force all of humanity to love me, but I don't. It is enough to serve and look after Cornelius, the first.

Whatever that thing that lives in him, and I guess, inside of me also, is even more ancient than Cornelius himself.

I find it funny, the portrayal of vampires on T.V. I am not even a vampire, and I assure you, no gun can harm me, and no blade can cut me. Humans always want to think they are the heroes. They are like cattle to us. Well, that's not a good comparison for me, because I don't crave anything from humans. In fact, I can go years without food or drink. What could a human do to a vampire? Absolutely nothing.

I have met what these weak creatures, who now call themselves, vampires. They are not ancient like Cornelius, but even they would destroy whole battalions of humans. Some can even just walk and all within their presence fall into a trance, so what exactly could a human do to one of them? I guess also, the blood inside of them would swallow all of them, if it ever got out.

It is time to wake Cornelius up. I am going to take him shopping, for a tuxedo. Did you want me to do a divination for you?

The Headset

The Headset

( have this on repeat as your read the story:

Mary was a romantic girl, steady, loyal, true. She didn't give her love easily and when she did, she expected love in return. This is the tale of her one true love.

Jeff wasn't a remarkable guy, but he loved Mary. He had boy next door looks and a good head on his shoulders.

The two were inseparable, once they came together and agreed to always be with each other. That was when they were 14. They went through high school together, won homecoming king and queen. No scouts came to watch him, no modeling agents contacted her, but they were happy.

They decided they would not go to college. They would get simple good paying jobs. Marriage was just an assumption since they had already made a promise to each other.

Jeff got the call that he would start Monday to be  an apprentice electrician, Mary would start on Monday too, being a seamstress. They could take vacations and do things in life, most people their age could only dream of.

They bought a house together only a year out of high school, something modest, a 3 bedroom. None of their friends could afford a house, definitely not a year out of high school.

Life had its ups and downs, but none more up and down than people testing their love and loyalty to each other. Men hit on Mary and women hit on Jeff. They quietly and politely would excuse themselves from these people and leave the situation. No drama, no claiming they had a boyfriend / girlfriend. Just a really reserved aura that said, no.

One was never far away from the other. Half the time Mary was at home, taking in hems, and stitching holes. She would go into work when there was a big project that required all hands on deck. She had steady work, but she could do it at home.

Jeff would come home and tell her about everything, the guys at work, the girls at work, the work. She would just rest her head on his chest and they would nap together until dinner time.

When her dad got sick Jeff arranged to take off work and the two stayed in the house to keep her mom company and be there if need be, to answer any call the hospital had.

They all sat around her Dad's hospital bed on that day... that day the earth stood still for them. The eldest son flew in, just in time. Jeff had picked him up from the airport. He had come along, not bringing the wife nor kids, just himself. He lay with his head on his father's hand, Mary stood over her brother and her mother held her.

Her dad passed on, that afternoon. The bed was wet with the eldest son weeping. Her mother held Mary upright, almost fainting. Jeff came and got her and drove everyone home.

Mary just laid on his chest that night, not weeping, just there, not saying a word. Jeff held her all night. When her mother came in the morning and opened the door, there they lay, eyes open, laying, not saying a word. Mom quietly came in and pulled a chair next to the bed and stroked Mary's hair, just like when she was a baby girl.

"Your brother's a mess, in there. Please go talk to him. Jeff are you hungry? I made us a morning snack. Come get some juice at least. You know Henry looked at you, like a new son," she steered the moment like a ship's captain.

Mary got up and tears... fell from her eyes. It's as if laying on Jeff's chest kept them in and being away from him, let the flood gates open. Jeff reached out to her, but mother captain, got up, hugged her, rubbed her arm and said, "go help your brother, you know dad was his biggest hero."

Mary went in and talked to her brother and held him for an hour, like Jeff held her.

Jeff and Mary's mother went into the kitchen and snacked on little pieces of meat and cheese and juice.

An hour later Mary and her brother came in. Her brother's eyes were red like a stop sign, this was going to take some time for him to let his father go.
*****************************************

They set a date for the wedding, a year out. Everyone had plenty of time to get ready.

It was nothing fancy, no tons of gifts, because they had mostly everything in the house.

One day, Mary was at home taking in hems. It was getting late, the sun was going down. She kept working. Finally, she looked up and it was dark.

She kept working. After several more hours she curled up on the sofa and drifted off to sleep, he'd be home soon, she told herself.

She was cold, so cold it woke her up. What time was it? She got up and turned on the lights. What was she doing sleeping on the couch. Oh yes, waiting for Jeff. Should she call her mother? No, she decided against that. Mother wouldn't know anything anyway.

She prepared a quick meal, so when he came in he could grab it and come to bed.

She left a note on the counter telling him it was in the oven.

She headed off to bed, but left a candle burning by the note. The bed was cold, so cold, without Jeff. She put on all her nightclothes and got in bed. He'd come in and laugh at her looking like a big kid in her night clothes.

She woke up in the morning. She found the candle burning still, and the food in the oven untouched. She put it in the fridge and called in to work. Did they need her to come in? No! They'd be around to pick up the work she'd done and give her some more.

Ninna came by and marveled at how many hems she did. She explained her fiance hadn't gotten home and she worked all day and night, 12 hours. Ninna laughed that she worked too hard. Maybe she needed a raise, she'd see to it, and since she's about to get married it would help too.

They sat and gossiped for about an hour. Then Ninna left. She was happy for the human contact.

Jeff would call if something was wrong. He'd always call if something happened. She set out to work. She looked up and it was lunch time already. So steady working, it was 2pm already.

After lunch she set to work again. She continued undisturbed till night again, late in the evening. Still Jeff was a no show. Again she cooked a meal, set it up and watched T.V. for a bit.

"Do you have a loved one that is about to leave this world, is in a coma, or just can't talk to you? A miracle break through has just been created. Neural net! Just place this device over your head and neural net will connect you to that loved one. Don't worry, the neural net will contact the brain that you have in your mind, that person need not be connected at all. We are taking testers right now, just call this number and we'll send a kit over next day and they'll explain everything."

Mary had already ordered hers before the commercial was even over. Won't Jeff be surprised when she taps into his brain?

The next morning the representative came over. She was expecting a man, but a lovely lady came buy and explained everything, hooked it up for her and as she started talking to Jeff, she waved goodbye.

"Hi honey, I've been waiting to hear from you for three days," she said.
Jeff seemed confused, "who is this?"
"Honey it's me Mary, you're surprised aren't you? I'm on this new neural net and I can connect with you directly," she said excitedly.
"It's only been three days? It seems like an eternity," Jeff said, in a distant voice.
"I know right? I missed you so much when I went to bed. Where are you?" Mary said.
"I don't know, it's dark here," he said.
"You don't know where you are? Were you in an accident?" Mary asked.
Jeff patted himself down, "nope I seem fine, It's just really dark."
"Well are you near the car, when are you coming home?" She asked.
"Home? That seems so long ago," Mary thought maybe he was in accident and didn't know and he's in shock.
"Honey, where was the last place you were? We'll come pick you up, I'll get mom to drive dad's old car," Mary said.

Just then she felt hands on her and being shook. They we calling her name, Mary, Mary, Mary sweetheart.

"Hold on Jeff, someone is here in the house," Mary said. She decided to take the set off.

"She's regaining consciousness," one voice said.

Mary opened her eyes to find herself in the hospital surrounded by nurses, her mom, her brother and a couple of doctors.

"Where am I? What happened?" Mary was almost yelling.

One of the doctors said, "calm down miss, you're alright now. You've been in a coma for a whole month."

Mary went into shock immediately.

After the doctors and nurses got her under control, her mother brushed aside the doctor and went to Mary's side, "you put that thing on and lost track of time?"

Mary shrugged and said, "I must have. Because it seemed like a minute to me. I was talking to Jeff, through this thing."

The room went silent.

"Honey..." her mother started it.

"Here you want to talk to Jeff? He's right here," she said.

Her brother snatched the headset from her and put it on, "Hi Jeff."
"Hey, boy I haven't seen you in forever," Jeff said.

A single tear rolled down his face as he removed the headset, "She's right. He's literally sitting there waiting to talk."

"How can that be," the mother turned to the doctor. The doctor shrugged, "I have no idea what that headset does, Ma'am. But, I think, as we saw with your son, if you don't let yourself get lost in it, you won't lose yourself."

"What's goin on?" Mary asked.

"Here, Mary. Hold my hand. I'll be right here. I'm holding your hand. Tell me what you see, while you talk to Jeff," her mother said.

Mary placed the headset on and took her mother's hand and closed her eyes, "he's standing on a street with purple and blue lights."

"My god, Mary is that you? It's been ages since I last spoke to you," Jeff said.
"He says it's been ages since I last spoke to him," Mary said under her breath.
"Mary sweetie, I don't know how time works where he is, but I have some new for you. Jeff has been dead for about 6 months," her mother whispered.
"That's impossible. It's only been 2 days, and I've only been talking to him for 15 minutes," Mary whispered back.
"Mary are you talking to me? It's so dark here," Jeff said.
"He says it's dark there," Mary whispered.

A gasp went around the room.

"She's keeping him there," a voice said.

"She most certainly is," a new voice said. "Either she should tell him to go into the beyond or she can keep him there for eternity and he will not pass on," the new voice said. You could hear the smile in the voice.

Mary's mother shook Mary and squeezed her hand, "honey you have to let Jeff move on, tell him to leave."
"Mother he's leaving, like a cloud or something. He heard you. NO JEFF DON'T LEAVE ME!!!" Mary screamed.

"SHE'S GOING INTO SHOCK," a voice said.

"ACTUALLY, you have a choice, let her go with Jeff or keep her here. But it is our experience that being this close to someone breaks the human spirit when they let the person go," the new voice said.

Although a commotion was going on throughout the room the mother looked over to the eldest son. "Unplug it," she said.

The son reached down behind the bed and with great force yanked the plug  out of the wall.

The beeping and monitors all stopped. Mary's body went slack.

"SON, YOU UNPLUGGED THE WRONG THING!!!" the doctor yelled.

Mother turned to the doctor with cold smoldering eyes. "No he didn't!"

Mary passed away that moment. You could hear her laughing quietly.

"It's not dark here at all. There's a light right there, you dingus," she said grabbing his arm. "Oh, so there is. Let's go over there then. You feel all warm now," Jeff said.

The eldest son stood up from the bed. "I couldn't imagine Mary with anyone but Jeff."

The mom shrugged, "I think her laughing at the end there, pretty much summed this who affair up.

And you, did you not warn the public what they were doing?"

The representative took the kit and placed it into the eldest son's hands, "technically, you could recall her and Jeff any time you want to talk to them. It won't hurt them anymore, since they've gone into the beyond. It'll be like a day visit.

We spoke with the entity that keeps the beyond and he actually explained a lot to us. This doesn't break the rules.

BUT, don't go anywhere except that road. If you go anywhere else but that road, you're gone.

We explained that to your daughter. She might not have remembered, but I think you made the right choice, because she decided a long time ago. We were surprised that she stayed alive this long.

We've already taken care of all the financials and the home. One of you sign here. And, we'll take care of the hospital too."

******************************************
Once a year the eldest would put the headset on and visit with Jeff and Mary. He would always come away from those talk as If he had aged in wisdom a hundred years.

)

I'm Just Sayin: Chicks Can't Wield Two Handed Swords

Female Heroes in Movies Are Dumb

Man with Zweihander

Don't call me a woman hater or something stupid like that, but when I sit down to watch a period piece, i.e. movie set in a specific date in history, and the hero of the story is a woman, I know it is time to walk out of the movie.  Am I against women?  No!  I kinda prefer women; wink wink; nudge nudge.  But, having a woman jump thirty feet, kick ten guys, while punching five others and then body slamming two, is a bit much for my whole "reality-embedded" brain to handle.  Don't get me wrong.  I am all for equal pay for women.  I am all for sharing of household responsibilities.  But, I am not going to divest my brain of all sanity and reason for 90 minutes just for the off chance, some obscure lesbian somewhere will get a kick out of watching a brainless bimbo do super heroic feats of strength by taking down 20 men twice her size and weight, in a single punch.  That might be great for that chick, but don't expect me to buy into it.

What's worse is, what message does this send to idiot chicks who think this is reality.  And, if you think I am joking around, let me tell you a story.

A chick came to my apartment once, when I was living with two other guys, and she proceeded to manhandle my roommate.  My roommate, being Latino, felt it his duty to allow her to thrash, not only, him, but our entire living room.  She proceeded to body slam him into shelves, desks, books and the t.v.  Well, I being the Capricorn and believer in equality that I am, grabbed her with 2 fingers, by the scruff of her neck and literally tossed her out of our apartment.  I then grabbed the two 90 lb guys that came in with her and told all of them, that they would never set foot in the apartment, as long as I lived there, ever again.  I think closed and locked the front door; told my roommates to clean up the front room; and went to bed.  I forgot to mention, I was completely naked except for a blanket I was holding around me with one hand, so this all took place with me doing this one-handed.

So let's get back to these movies.  The person watching a movie is expected to identify with the hero of a story, somehow.  When it is a man, male viewers put themselves in the place of the hero, and women put themselves in the place of the damsel in distress.  When it is a female... noone identifies with her.  To this day, men still want to be heroes and women still want their knight in shining armor to come save them.

The reality is chicks cannot wield two handed swords.  Let's take a look at a two handed sword.  The epitome of two handed swords, at least in Europe was that Zweihänder.  It weighed up to 16lbs and was up to 6 feet in length.

Guards could be plain or ornate, while hilts usually ended with heart or pear shaped heavy pommels. Occasionally a blunted portion of the forte, the ricasso or Fehlschärfe (meaning “missing sharpness”) at the base of the blade allowed a hand to be placed below the lower guard to “shorten the grip” and make the handle like a polearm. This allowed the user to crudely repel a cavalry charge. The swords have hilt-mounted side-rings and enlarged cross-guards of up to 35 cm (14 in) across. Along the blade, some 10–20 cm (4–8 in) from the upper guard, Parierhaken (“parrying hooks”) shaped like lugs or flanges acted as a guard for the ricasso to prevent other weapons from sliding down the blade. - wikipedia

Let's see how a real man used the two handed sword:

Perhaps the best known user of a Zweihänder was Pier Gerlofs Donia who is reputed to have wielded it with such skill, strength and efficiency that he managed to behead multiple people with it in a single blow. The Zweihänder ascribed to him is, as of 2008, on display in the Frisian museum. It has a length of 213 cm (84 in) and a weight of about 6.6 kg (14½ lb). - wikipedia

So, a man used a 7 foot sword that weighed 14 1/2 pounds.  Excluding a few freaks of nature, for the most part, women cannot even hold that sword, even today's much larger woman.  Remember we are talking about humans that lived about 400 years ago, and they were not 5'8.  The women definitely weren't.

The Zweihander was Monstrous

So, what is hollywood trying to push when it makes women wield two handed swords, slide down banisters and kill 30 men?  Well, the answer is simple.  It's a male fantasy porno.  Mind, you, it's not mine.  I don't do porno.

Please visit my legal website: Nevada DUI Attorneys
See me on YouTube: Seattle Cop Punches Black Teenage Girl