Before You Get Married to Her Money
credit, right at 18 and then take 30 years to get it right. With that in mind then, could you be walking into a financial mind field? Oh you bet. You are right.
It would be wise, it would behoove you, to quiz the person about their money, before you go that "next step". It could be a massive fall financially, if you tie the knot, and her creditors come after you. Or, you were planning on buying a house right after marriage, and BLAMMO!! her credit is so bad you can't get a decent rate, or worse, a loan.
I knew a girl who was so far in debt and her attitude was just so ... childish that it boggled my mind. She had a car; wrecked it; still owed on it; let it default; then went back to the same company and they tacked on both car notes to her car. So in essence she was paying for two cars while driving one, she was upside down in the car. And, she didn't even care. She thought it was funny. She was already married at the time. I can't imagine what her husband thought. I didn't know him, nor never met him.
By that example, and some women just use "I'm only a woman" as an excuse to not deal with financial matters. I can't count the times I've heard, "oh my husband takes care of all of that." And, when he dies? She has no clue what to do.
The Pre-engagement Quiz
10. You receive a credit card in the mail. It says "free" and "you were preapproved." What do you do with it? The correct answer is - send it back.
9. You see an ad on t.v., at night, selling something you were actually going to go shop for the very next day, and it's $10.00 cheaper, even after shipping and handling. However, the company gives a P.O. BOX address. Do you order the product off the T.V. The correct answer is - go buy the one at the store.
8. Your cousin / nephew / niece asks you to co-sign on a car. You haven't seen them in a few years and you have no idea if they have a job. Do you co-sign the loan? The correct answer is - no.
7. Do you have a savings account?
6. Do you have a C.D.? [certificate of deposit]
5. How many cars have you had, and have you ever paid off one, and is the current one paid off or payments up to date? You should never, ever pay for another human's car expenses. If they can't pay for it themselves, that's a warning sign to leave.
4. Her living situation might be temporary so it's not adequate to ask about that. However, the ideal woman may be purchasing a house. If she is renting however: How much is your rent? How much do you make? Is your rent current? You should never, ever pay for another human's living expenses. If they can't pay for it themselves, that's a warning sign to leave.
3. You live one block away from a ritzy yuppie grocery store and one block away from a dollar grocery store. Of course the food at the dollar grocery store is rather bland, yet healthy. You need a better car to get ahead at your job, since your boss sometimes asks you to drive him / her to staff meetings. Do you scrimp and save and buy from the dollar store? The correct answer is - yes.
2. The latest magazines have crowned bubble bottom jeans as the must have jeans of the year, however, they cost $250. You know some shoes that would match but they cost $213. Your friend is having a party next weekend, and they are always getting on you about the clothes you wear. So far you have $800 [ask her] saved up in your bank account. Do you go buy the jeans and shoes and surprise your friends? The correct answer is - no.
1. If you lost your job today, and had no family, and couldn't get welfare, and couldn't get unemployment, could you go an entire year without finding work, from just your saving account? The correct answer is - yes.
If the girl that has caught your eye, answers any of these questions incorrectly, my advice is to move on. I'm sure love is a great thing and all, but being financially miserable is setting yourself up for a divorce. Those are just cold hard facts. More people get divorced over money than any other subject.
Since you're an adult, think like an adult. If you are going to dedicate yourself to a woman, it's not just physical. When you get married you are agreeing to: dedicate your body; dedicate your mind; dedicate your soul; dedicate your time; and dedicate your pocket book. If you are going to mix your pocket book, you have to know what you're getting into. If the person is just starting out financially, then you have to know how they think about money.
If you have $10,000 in savings it makes no sense to marry a woman that has none. You're not equal and the marriage would be awkward. Keep in mind $10,000 isn't a whole lot of money. But such a small amount is the difference between someone who makes a salary and someone who works hourly. Such a small difference is the difference between someone who doesn't have leisure time, nor leisure money and isn't used to neither one.
I've had friends and I mean a lot of them, whom if I said let's go see Batman and stop for a burger on the way would say "I don't have money". They didn't mean they were saving their money and didn't want to waste it on lunch and a movie. They meant literally they didn't have that much money to spend. Ultimately I had to get a new group of friends. I couldn't be "friends" with people I couldn't hang out with on my level.
Just as you see "lifestyles of the rich and famous" those people wouldn't hang out with me. Nor, could i hop on a jet and meet them in Paris. These are just financial facts.
Don't let your mouth write a check your behind can't cash. Don't get all head over heels in love with some girl AND THEN after the fact find out she's not only broke, but so deep in debt, it affects your credit.
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